Looking Into The Mirror
by MidnightSakuraBlossom and SYD
Summary: Mirrors always reflect the things we would rather not see. Looking into the mirror to see a hollow shell of a person, no identity, it's always awful to see staring back at you. Tenten feels like she is just wasted space, barely noticed by anyone else, she hates to see herself reflected and searches for a way out of the misery...but who should be the one to go? Her or the mirror?


**A/N:**

**Looking back at some cosplay videos of about 4 years ago (I THINK), I found a little Naruto skit that me and my best friend had done when bored around the house. I was Tenten and she was Sakura (she cosplayed as Sakura quite a lot, as I recall). And it was about the two of us discussing our "roles" as characters. About how "I" was discouraged by the way "I" am such a minor character and barely appear and do anything and that "Sakura" was always in the spotlight, though she didn't do much.**

**And this little Tenten fic spawned from that. After I finished watching it. The idea here is that Tenten feels unimportant and un-noticed as a person, and thinks deeply about this as she stares at herself in the mirror. It's AU, and written in attempted 1st person in her POV. ^^ I usually write in 3rd person, so please forgive me if it's kind of...well...crappy.**

**Disclaimer: *Insert the usual Naruto disclaimer here***

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Looking Into The Mirror

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I look into the mirror of my bedroom, reluctantly. I do not usually do this unless I absolutely have to. I don't like the reflection of the person I see, and no one else seems to pay attention to the fact I'm here and exist.

I walk up to it, a very puzzled look on my face. I just stand there with my arms crossed tightly against my chest and the reflection of myself stares right back in the same manner. It's as if we're staring into the very soul of the other. Which I don't doubt at all. It feels that way. Not like there's anything worth taking a glance at inside of me.

My name is Tenten. I'm just an average kind of teenage girl that is constantly fading un-noticed into the background. Oh, you ask who I see when I stare into the mirror? Hmm. Well, to answer, when I look back into the mirror: I see a girl of around an average height and weight, with long chocolate brown hair resting at my waist when it isn't held back in it's usual two buns on my head, big chocolate eyes, a white and clear complexion. My clothing is simple right now. Just a long sleeved dark red top that goes to my waist with a white belt around it, white jeans that are tight and cling to my legs, no shoes.

When I look into the mirror of my bedroom, I don't see a person with a special purpose in life. I've never known what I wish to be or do in the future. And I don't know many people; just my two guy friends Neji and Lee, and then my overly-enthusiastic gym teacher. They're the only ones that notice me a little bit. But other than that, I'm nearly invisible and always in the background.

It's always as if I don't exist.

Contrary to many's beliefs, I'm standing here in front of the mirror staring into the inner core of my reflection. My heart silently pumping and my chest rising and falling at a calming pace. Surely, I am alive and here in the world. So why is it that no one else notices me? What is my purpose in this life? Am I supposed to just wander without reason?

This isn't just normal teenage angst. It's not depression that will lead to attempts to end my meaningless life. I do not know what this is, but these emotions are some that I can't grasp.

Leaning forward, pressing my hands against my reflections and still never tearing my gaze from it, I look directly into those big dark brown eyes. They look so empty, pained, and questionable. These eyes are searching for something, I know it. They want answers about why the owner of them is ignored on a daily basis and fading more and more into the background as if she doesn't exist in this life.

They want answers to the question of why no matter what, I could not get the attention I need no matter how much effort I put into it.

They want answers to the question of why my usual determination and upbeat persona is wearing away more and more every day.

They want answers to the question of why no one can hear me even if I scream my lungs out to the point of being voiceless and hoarse.

But they do not receive the answers that they want. Why would I even be standing here, rooted to this spot, wondering why I practically don't exist to anyone in this world, if these desperate eyes had been given the answers that they yearned for.

My expression turns into a sorrowful one as I stand back up and walk back a little, still watching my own reflection in the mirror with weary brown eyes. I think about how I've always felt like I was of no importance to the world, like I am just wasted space that needs to be removed at some point. When I share these concerns with Neji and Lee, they both assure me that I'm wrong.

If they were in my shoes, they sure wouldn't be saying that. Those two just don't understand how I feel. Neji is popular at school and is a genius, but he is just kind of cold and distant towards his peers. Lee is kind of a dork, but he is very hard-working and full of life that he still is noticed you can't help but admire his kind personality. These two are opposites, but they are much more noticed than I.

Tenten is just plain and ordinary. A slightly-tomboyish girl who just fades into the dark background without anyone to notice her. I claw into my hair and shut my eyes tightly, I can't stand how serious this had become! If I have to stare into the reflection of that plain, pathetic girl in the mirror, I will lose every bit of my sanity! I swear.

Once opening my eyes and involuntarily staring at my stupid reflection, I sigh a very long and exhausted sigh. You can't do anything about who you are. No matter what, changing yourself is a very delicate process that never works out well in the long run. I can't change myself. I'm just...me. This...pathetic mess of a girl in the mirror watching me with hurt eyes is me. Life is unbearable sometimes.

I turn on the heels of my bare feet and leave my bedroom. Seeing most of my life flash across my eyes as I silently make my way down the dark hall way and the stairs. I enter the kitchen, never uttering a word or making the slightest noise.

Life is unbearable...

I look around quietly before setting my gaze on the kitchen drawers.

Life was always so uneventful and a waste for someone like me...

I walk over to the drawers and open them, my eyes settling and zeroing in on a sharp butcher knife that especially stands out to me. A glint shines in my listless eyes.

I am un-noticed by everyone. And I have absolutely no purpose, when it comes down to it...

I reach for the knife and hold it tightly before pulling it out. I briefly took a moment to admire it's well-sharpened edge that is so tempting to stab into something. I almost shed a tear at this decision. But I do not dare let it roll down my cheek. Instead, I self-consciously dab it away with my fingertip. As I walk away from the kitchen and back to the privacy of my bedroom where I can do this in piece and in loneliness, I could almost imagine the blade tauntingly.

The walk to my bedroom is short and my expressions remains stoic and emotionless. I enter my room and close the door very loudly before walking over to my bed and sitting down carefully on the very edge as to not wrinkle the clean covers. I turn my head towards the damn reflection staring back at me. It would seem like it was taunting me now. My head is now filled with questions as I tightly hold the large knife in my hands and tear my eyes away to look at it.

Am I just going crazy?

Will making this decision end my problems? It surely isn't the most climatic ending of things.

But my life has no meaning. And I am just worthless and living without reason. No one even notices me anyway. There is not a single person that would lament of my decision. Maybe Neji and Lee will bring flowers and leave, but that's about it the way I see it in my head.

For about sixteen-and-half years, I fade into the background and life life stripped of purpose, never getting anywhere at all. And I come home to my empty house and watch my horrible reflection in the mirror with doubt and questions racing throughout my inner mind. Is there any reason to go on? What will I be fulfilling if I do so?

I wait several seconds until the clock strikes midnight. It seems like the constant ticking of the clock on the wall will not stop and it is the only sound as I sit in darkness and despair. Once I watch the hand pass and rest on the twelve, I nod in acceptance and then raise the knife high in the air.

The blade is sharp and ready to be thrust into it's target now. I tightly shut my eyes in sorrow and release a shaky breath before quickly aiming it at my heart. Time seemingly freezes altogether as fate consumes me little by little.

The blade very lightly touches against my chest against my uncovered skin above my bra. And it freezes too as I crack my eyes open. I stare at the blade, watching it with tears beginning to fill my eyes once again. Several feelings and emotions overcoming me that I cannot describe.

I turn my head to look at my reflection. And I glare and remove the blade from my chest at the vital spot, holding it high in the air again. I am quick to take the butcher knife and throw it with precise aim right in the face my reflection and it pierces perfectly and cracks.

I look away as the glass shatters and breaks into millions of pieces, scattering everywhere. All over the floor and my bedroom furniture and the knife lie useless on the floor with it. The tears stream down my face freely now, hot and salty.

As the clock ticks in the dead silence, I lament. It is another day and I am still here. I reach for my pillow and bury my face into it, sobbing uncontrollably and finally releasing my bottled up feelings for what I was about to do. And how I was about to throw everything away. It all crashes down on me and I cry myself to a restless sleep.

The broken glass and butcher knife lie scattered on the floor of my bedroom. The source of my problems I force myself to face is gone. Forever even. Later the next day, when I look into any mirror again...I see no reflection.

How bittersweet, I note with a smile to mask my sorrow.

The End

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**So...your thoughts, please? I'm not very good with angst, but I just wanted to portray Tenten in a different kind of way than I usually read her as. That's all. She started out wanting to kill herself to get rid of a wasted life that was not needed in the world, but she ends up killing the source of her problems; the mirror. Yeah, yeah, I know it probably sucked.**

**I hope you do realize that I don't think highly of this piece. To be honest, I had doubts about publishing it. I have too much stress in my life to read a bunch of hate comments, okay? So if you honestly think that this story wasn't good, it's best if you comment in a way that isn't offending entirely. Knowing me, in this stressed out state I'm in, I would snap at you. Stress brings out my ugly side after all, unfortunately. -_-**

**Read and review.**


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